I'm an archaeologist. I have just made an important find, in a stratum that dates back to the "Obscene", the period that followed the Holocene, some 5.000 years ago. The Obscene is being characterized by an earth layer of indefinable, black, stinking pulp containing the most miraculous objects: distorted cans, petrified hamburgers, crushed plastic jerrycans, rusty cables, frays of fine ladies underwear, ship's wrecks, ski's, mildewed nappies, spectacles, flat keyboards with vague signs on them, gold and silver jewelry, hand grenades, cellars full of manure, tons of debris with glass and long, up to kilometres long ribbons of bituminous material the use of which I still do not understand. Also there are thousands and thousands of slithery rubber fingers with curled rims, the purpose of which is not hard to guess. Those fingers are just about the same worldwide, and therefore they are useful guide fossils for the Obscene. It takes some doing digging into this earth layer, and it's even harder to bring any logic into it. Moreover it is dangerous for it also contains strongly radioactive bars, and bottles with toxics.
I did my discovery during excavations in England, in a pack that must date back to approx. the year 2000 AD. In a trench in the landscape, I found thousands of perfectly intact skeletons of large cloven-hoofed animals: cows, sheep, pigs, all of them neatly sorted by species, just like in a museum. Our team has spent years carefully digging up all these skeletons, and it is absolutely clear these had all been healthy animals. There are no traces of fights, injuries or abnormalities caused by diseases. But each and every one of them just had a round hole in it's head on exactly the same place. We do not know why they have been killed, nor why their carcasses were all brought together. For that they did not die in this neatly digged trench, is easy to see from the way in which they were piled up. Next to each skeleton also a yellow label was found. Are these indeed labels from musea, or marks from an earlier excavation, or epitaphs? It still is a riddle to us. From old legends it is known well that the Obsceners worshipped the God "Mammon", but why this God required such frantic animal-sacrifices, we do not yet apprehend.
I have only once before in my career seen something similar, on the Balkans, also a trench from the same period, nearby a village that on old maps is called Srebrenic. But over there it concerned human skeletons, often with round holes in the skulls too, but not so neat and sometimes with smashed limbs as well. Moreover the yellow labels were missing. It is not clear why in one case humans and in the other case animals were being offered, and why the humans were treated more carelessly than the animals. Are these cultural differences? In any case the extravagant dimension of the offerings and the comparable way of killing and burrying prove that both cultures were extremely barbaric. Deservedly this era is called "the Obscene".

Salomon Kroonenberg
column published April 12, 2001 in a Dutch Magazine "Intermediair"